Two wheels of one chariot

Please enjoy the following Sahaja Yoga talk in which Shri Mataji talks about marriage and other matters. Sahaja Yoga enables a couple to achieve a balanced relationship in which each partner contributes equally. The talk was held on the 27th March 1981.

For example a person becomes rich, unduly rich he becomes, is a blessing I should say of Nabhi chakra on the right-hand side. Right-hand side Nabhi chakra can give you a lot of wealth, a lot of money and you’ll have ten cars and fifteen people attending to you, everything you may have but, it cannot, it cannot give you the satisfaction of life. You will go on accumulating and end up with a suicide or something like that and you would not know why you are bent upon committing suicide. That’s why in all affluent countries you find people are planning to commit suicide and the more affluent they are the worse it is. But the left side gets completely dried.

Now the left side is the centre of the family life, the Gruhalaxshmi, the goddess of the family, the household you see. A person who runs after money too much, forgets his family. He has no time for his family. The husband and wife may meet somewhere on the airport or may just wave at each other sometimes you see, crossing each other, or the children suffer the most. And in that case the women also then take up with the men, they compete what’s wrong, they start copying men, and in so doing so, when they compete with each other, then what happens, that this family life gets disturbed. The woman of the household is dissatisfied, her ego is not satisfied. In olden times the man used to go in the jungle, and get all the wood cut, bring it home, and give it to the wife and wife used to cook. There was no problem because there was barter system. He could see her working in the household.

Now the husband earns the money and the woman spends. I mean that also requires some work, isn’t it to spend the money. But to man it looks like, that I’m the earning member and she’s the spender. So she said all right, I will also earn. But in this too much of competition, too much of competition like this, between the two, what happens, the family suffers, the children suffer and such a person will have problem with the wife, the wife will have problem with the husband and you can always feel that center on this finger, if that finger is catching, that means there’s something wrong with your family relationship, that you have to adjust yourself, or he has to adjust. It’s an important thing. Because you are like the flowers which have to produce a fruit. That’s what nature wants. Nature wants that you are there to produce the, fruit, that is your children. That’s why you are men and women. That’s the basics.

Now, if you think that with that responsibility if you can do something else you should do. But the main thing is that, and if you don’t do that, is to look after your children, to give them joy, have a beautiful nest for them, then I must say that you are neglecting your basic duty and your attention is on something else. That’s why so many divorces are taking place and problems are there, the women ask for their rights, they go beyond their limits, they became dominating here, the men become dominating. That’s not the way we are going to solve it. We have to know that we are two wheels, two wheels of one chariot, one on the left, another in the right. Now they are not similar, they’re not similar they are two types one left side one right side. But, they are equal. In their, whatever they do it’s equal, they are to be respected equally in the same manner. And it is always so for example, I had a girl who came to me and she was a private secretary, and she told me: “Mother you say this, but I’ve seen that all these men come and flirt with their private secretaries.” So I said: “All right, maybe so, but what does that matter.”

You see that shows that’s something wrong with the man, he doesn’t understand, he’s off his head, he cannot enjoy his wife and he’s running after other things. It’s like having something in your house and you are looking at other things you see. Like in India if you go to some, somebody comes to your house be careful about your things, but in England I tell them, if somebody comes to your house be careful about your wife, see. Is just a little difference between, but the second one is a dangerous thing because fundamental, the wife is the fundamental thing, because you do not know what she will do, how she will react and you do not know how the guests because that is regarded as their freedom. But if you take away something from somebody’s house that’s not freedom, because we can take away anything from somebody’s house why should anybody arrest us? Because there is a free will for you to do what you like, is allowed to do what you like, but in that free will you are harming so many people and ultimately your society.

Now these two wheels, as I said, are very important to God, because so many great people want to take birth on this earth. So many great souls want to take birth on this earth, and if we behave in such a manner, that all the time this chariot is this way going up and that way going up, I can tell you no child would be willing to be born in this place who are great people. Only the people who are of the worst type will be born, they’ll be hooligans, they’ll be horrible people with a horrid nature and they’ll spoil the whole atmosphere of the countries where husband wife have, do not have good relationship. The children will be such hooligans and such horrible things that you’ll be surprised that at the age of eight years and five years they’ll be committing murders and doing all kinds of such thing that you’ll be shocked.

Now between you and me, because you are also husbands and wife and, one thing it should be there that we should not quarrel before our children. We should have all decency of husband and wife, there are so many things we do not do in the presence of our children. In the same way we need not sit down and quarrel and say: “I hate you and I hate you.” I tell you this is something you have to change little bit in our language. In India if somebody says: “I hate you” it’s regarded, that man regarded as a most unmannerly person. I mean its very bad manners to say “I hate you” how, I mean it shows that you are very low type of person to say like that. But “I hate you” so what. If you hate so what, you are not God. If you hate me what does it matter, actually, if somebody hates someone, so what. That shows that person is not a good person, just to hate someone.

“I hate you” is a way of expressing something that is I feel, is very wrong for the family system. It shocks children. Children look upon you as ideals. When they are born you should see them, most of the children nowadays in Australia are born realized, I see them around when I went to the airport and I see they’re born realized. And they watch you, and they’re surprised and they sulk and they feel very sad. They don’t like, they don’t take sides, they don’t like the father to fight the mother, the mother to fight. And one other thing which you must understand, that a certain gradation has to be there. A woman is the strongest point of the household. Like this Mother Earth is. She takes all the problems upon herself. She, because she’s the strongest. Who else can withstand this kind of, weight on her. It’s the mother only can do that. In the same way a woman in the house is the mother, and she has to bear. You see it’s nice to have a husband who comes home and says whatever he likes and takes out all the filth on you, than to have a husband who is very sweet, hello, hello and outside he goes like a bumptious tiger on everyone.

Such a man is, has to be, he has to, you see they’re like children I would say, they are like children. They have to take out their tensions on their wives only, and you should be an absorber of that and that’s the sign of a woman. A strong woman doesn’t get easily disturbed by these things. She’s not bothered. She says all right, you little baby come along, now I have had four babies, now this is the fifth one which is the smallest has come. Let him shout and scream, even with the children, you have to be patient, they’ll hit you, they’ll do anything. I would say that way in India, children are treated very kindly and they are special things. They will do what they like when they are children, but when they grow up we do not have teenage problem, we do not have problem where the children don’t respect.